Other highlights: "... scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behavior of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal."
Really?! Inexperience? That's what it was? "Really, your honor, I am, frankly, a sexual n00b. That's why your officers found me engaged in the seduction of the neighbor's cat. I swear, if I had been taught more safe sex in school, it would never have happened."
I also demand that the picture in the linked-to article be lol'ed. Toot sweet.
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